Part of me feels these weekly updates are silly. I think, seriously Kylie, no one cares what you think. But the truth is, I think it’s important to document this unprecedented time in our lives. And if I’m writing it anyway, I may as well share it. Because for all those who don’t care, they will move on. But if sharing my feelings, tips, or whatever else arises over God only knows how long we’re in quarantine, helps anyone else, then it’s worth it. If nothing else, to help feel connected to others in a time of isolation and doubt. In fact, non-coronavirus-related social media LIVES, discussions, and quizzes have brought me a sense of togetherness and feeling of community over this past week as we follow the “Stay Home. Stay Safe” order.
Mommy Homeschool Update: well I still haven’t printed the checklist from last week. However, it helped just to have it in my mind, because I found myself reminding the kids of things they could be doing. As we approach this new normal, as with everything in life, I think it’s important to find balance. We’re working on finding a balance between structure with continued schoolwork at home, and spending time together as a family. Mid-week, I saw a post that the governor had stated it is “highly unlikely” that schools will return for any part of this year. I am sad for the teachers and the kids. And honestly, I feel really bad for my kids. Not only because they’ll miss their friends and teachers, but I am 100% certain I am unequipped to provide the quality of education they would receive at school. The thought of educating 2 grade school kids and preparing my daughter for Kindergarten is pretty overwhelming. I’m sure many resources will be available, and possibly even more of an e-classroom environment will be established, but just the mere headline made me click “add to cart” on a teacher planner. Something told me I’d need more than the number and letter recognition a game of War provides ;)
While I’ve done a better job of staying focused, and doing family activities, having everyone home ALL at once brings on its own challenges as well. Like, why am I always out of spoons?! Seriously though, it’s twice as many people here during the day as we’re used to. That means double the mess, double the noise, and quite apparently now - double the dishes.
I want to enjoy this time. I want to remember movie marathons and couch snuggles, and family puzzles, games, and walks. But for someone who’s not an anxious person, I’ve actually been quite anxious and even a little scared this week. Mixed in with the lighthearted memes flooding social media, are scary accounts from those struggling to overcome the virus and others on the front lines in our hospitals. At times I found it difficult to focus on anything other than the reality outside our walls. It’s hard to focus on 3rd grade math or laundry when the uncertainty of a global pandemic seems to cripple your mind at times. It’s hard to act as if everything’s ok when at times my mind is filled with panic. But it’s important: I don’t want the kids to feel my anxiety. While I feel it’s important to teach them how to be safe with hand washing and staying home, we’re careful what we share and I put on a brave face in front of them so I don’t incite fear. It’s hard to stay strong and positive for the kids while explaining to them why we can’t see Grandma or Grandpa, aside from the small rectangle at the bottom of my phone. I miss my mom, the kids miss their grandparents, and this is hard. But it’s important. If we all do our part, we can come out stronger, resilient, and thankful.
I was feeling pretty down one day so I decided to get fully ready, like I actually had somewhere to go. I did my hair, makeup, and put something on other than yoga pants. And you know what, I did feel better. I even scheduled a date night in and Jon and I drank wine and watched a movie while we sat together (instead of opposite sides of the living room). And it was the highlight of my week. (Knives Out is a great movie, by the way). Sometimes I think our outward appearance can have a bigger impact on how we feel than what we realize. So if you’re feeling a little down, give it a shot – I mean, what else do you have to do? ;)
As we enter week 3, I’m trying to replace my anxiety with feelings of gratefulness. Grateful that both my husband and I are able to stay home during this time. Grateful for those essential employees that are quite literally putting their lives at risk so the rest of us can eat, get better, or get help in case of an emergency. To those on the front lines – thank you. And may God bless us all.
Things I’ve learned this week:
The washer is a great hiding place for hide-and-seek
We need more spoons. Or less kids. Definitely more spoons.
I want DJ Tanner’s adult wardrobe. Seriously, like ALL of it.
I can’t wait to take all the kids to Target. At the same time. And buy them each a toy just because we can.
2 weeks isn’t enough time for Jon’s beard to start growing in on the sides – but there’s still tiiiime ;)